I've come to believe that life really is a pattern of cylces that repeat themselves over and over again. We progress through life finding ourselves at different stages that we will eventually look back on as learning experiences when we end up in similar stages at later points in life. At least, that would be the optimistic viewpoint.
Another year, another night of reflection at the Beirut Airport sitting at an aging computer terminal in the Cedar Lounge. It's been over a year since my last late-night flight out of Lebanon, and I'm no less disappointed to be leaving this time as any other. I don't know if I'll ever understand what it is about this place that draws me back time and time again. Is it the smiles, kisses, and loud voices of my many family members; the huge spreads of fresh, delectable food every day; the intense mediterranean sun and the cool sea breeze; the free-spirited nature of the people; or even the excitement and stress of not knowing what news the next hour might bring? I don't have an answer, but I know I have to hold back the tears of joy everytime I am heading to Lebanon and the tears of sorrow everytime I am leaving.
Lebanon is caught in one of life's cycles. It is a country with so much to offer, but I doubt it will ever be truly appreciated by the masses because of the political, religious, and idealogical conflicts of its own people and the outsiders that bring their conflicts across the borders. Lebanon cycles in and out of periods of peace and instablility. Some days the country seems to flourish and other days it suffers under the stresses of the world's many problems. My hope is that one day the Lebanese leaders will learn to look back at the cylces of unrest that have plagued this beautiful country for centuries, if not millenia, and try something different to break the cycle.
As for me, I have found myself nearing the end of another year of studying with only hazy plans ahead. This stage of the cycle of life is one that I am all-to-familiar with, but it never gets any easier. I'm officially a licensed attorney now, and I will soon have yet another degree to add to my resume. The problem is that I am no closer to knowing what it is I want to do or even where I want to live. Home will always be North Carolina in some way, but it is probably one of the lowest ranked locations on my list of potential placed to live and work. Austria has always treated me well, and I have a great deal of gratitude for the life-changing experiences and people that I have encountered while living there. Lebanon calls me back over and over again, but I don't know what my life would be like living here fulltime. So many questions to answer, and so many decisions to make. I have stressed about these difficult life decisions in the past, and things have always turned out ok. I hope that the next stage of the cycle is a good one for me and the country of my ancestors.
Another year, another night of reflection at the Beirut Airport sitting at an aging computer terminal in the Cedar Lounge. It's been over a year since my last late-night flight out of Lebanon, and I'm no less disappointed to be leaving this time as any other. I don't know if I'll ever understand what it is about this place that draws me back time and time again. Is it the smiles, kisses, and loud voices of my many family members; the huge spreads of fresh, delectable food every day; the intense mediterranean sun and the cool sea breeze; the free-spirited nature of the people; or even the excitement and stress of not knowing what news the next hour might bring? I don't have an answer, but I know I have to hold back the tears of joy everytime I am heading to Lebanon and the tears of sorrow everytime I am leaving.
Lebanon is caught in one of life's cycles. It is a country with so much to offer, but I doubt it will ever be truly appreciated by the masses because of the political, religious, and idealogical conflicts of its own people and the outsiders that bring their conflicts across the borders. Lebanon cycles in and out of periods of peace and instablility. Some days the country seems to flourish and other days it suffers under the stresses of the world's many problems. My hope is that one day the Lebanese leaders will learn to look back at the cylces of unrest that have plagued this beautiful country for centuries, if not millenia, and try something different to break the cycle.
As for me, I have found myself nearing the end of another year of studying with only hazy plans ahead. This stage of the cycle of life is one that I am all-to-familiar with, but it never gets any easier. I'm officially a licensed attorney now, and I will soon have yet another degree to add to my resume. The problem is that I am no closer to knowing what it is I want to do or even where I want to live. Home will always be North Carolina in some way, but it is probably one of the lowest ranked locations on my list of potential placed to live and work. Austria has always treated me well, and I have a great deal of gratitude for the life-changing experiences and people that I have encountered while living there. Lebanon calls me back over and over again, but I don't know what my life would be like living here fulltime. So many questions to answer, and so many decisions to make. I have stressed about these difficult life decisions in the past, and things have always turned out ok. I hope that the next stage of the cycle is a good one for me and the country of my ancestors.
